Honey, Raw Life.

I actually hate raw honey. 

Despite its undeniably health benefits and sweetness, I have to really force myself to eat a spoonful. My honey-hating origin story stems from my mom mixing the contents of a vitamin capsule into honey when swallowing pills wasn't an option. The concoction tasted like weirdly sweet, grainy dirt. It's a core memory shared by all of my siblings. Ever since then, I put on a brave face and muster the strength to consume raw honey (on the rare occasion I agree to try). 

Horror story aside, honey is pretty mind-blowing. Wonderful as a sweetener, even a sugar substitute. It's anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, and full of antioxidants. Always the perfect addition to some warm tea (plus a splash of milk for me) to heal the heart, soul and body (especially with a sore throat or cough). Some have claimed that local honey can help alleviate allergies when consumed on a daily basis. 

But this isn't an informational post on the benefits of quality honey. 

I'm here to talk about the everyday, abundant life offered in Jesus. Finding the metaphorical yet totally real, spiritual Promised Land in our daily routines and ordinary moments–the land flowing with milk and, that's right, honey. 

It starts in Exodus. The Israelite people have been enslaved in Egypt for 400 years. Then, God sends a champion, a leader Moses, to set them free. The Israelites were God's chosen people, and he was taking them out of slavery into the land promised to their ancestors almost a half a century earlier–a land flowing with milk and honey. In this context, milk and honey refer to a land of abundance. The Israelites, like many others in the Middle East at that time, were an agricultural people and relied on the fruitfulness of the land in order to survive. In Egypt, the land was bountiful (hello, Nile) but coupled with slavery, and life can only be so great when living in captivity. An abundant land, completely free would have seemed like a pike dream; even more so, after having to wander a desolate wilderness for forty years when they chose fear and disobedience the first go around (it’s a wild tale ready for the reading in Exodus). Despite all of the setbacks, they eventually obeyed, entered the Promised Land, and found it was indeed fruitful, overflowing with milk, honey and other agricultural riches. God even warns the people not to let all of the richness get to their heads and that they forget that it was God who brought them to that place–that’s how great the Promised Land was for them. In the Old Testament, the Promised Land literally represented freedom from slavery, life in total abundance, absent of worry for basic necessities, joy and rest as God’s chosen and beloved people. 

Today, for those of us following Jesus, New Covenant Christians, we have access to the Promised Land. In our day, the Promised Land is the abundant life that Jesus speaks about in John 10:10. He says that the thief has come to steal, kill and destroy, but he came that we may have life to the fullest, life in abundance. This is the same passage where He calls himself our Good Shepherd, the one who lays down his life for the Sheep, who stands in the entrance of the pen of the fold to protect us from the dangers outside the fold. When we follow Jesus, we are able to experience this abundant life. The abundant life doesn’t negate the pain, suffering, sorrow and rawness of humanity. We can still experience all of the same discomforts to a certain degree depending on our life situation. However, His strength, love, presence and abundance in our lives will make those trials pale in comparison and only serve to sanctify and bring us closer to Jesus. 

And that's what I want to talk about here. I want to talk about the rawness and the sweetness of that promise and that truth that we get to in everyday. I want to talk about the spiritual land of milk and honey; our everyday Promised Land that we get to experience because of the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, the saving power of the finished work of the Gospel in our hearts and  the relationship we can have with Jesus when we believe and commit our lives to Him. 

I truly believe we can find the Promised Land in our everyday lives. I believe that we can live in the land flowing with milk and honey as followers of Jesus, aiming to live our lives worthy of the calling of Christ. Because of the finished work of the gospel, because of Jesus's life death resurrection, our everyday, ordinary, routine-filled lives can become rich in the abundance and blessing offered in the Promised Land. We can be stewards of blessing and beauty and abundance as we serve the mission and kingdom of God. I want to explore what a life flowing with milk and honey looks like in my life. I want to explore not only the sweetness and the goodness and the abundance, but also the rawness and the realities and the difficulties of our everyday lives. I personally believe there is much to be gleaned from connecting the scriptures  and seeing the way that Jesus's gospel and message of hope and life echo from Exodus to Revelation to Tuesday mornings at my house.

Grab a cup of tea and let's keep it sweet and real with honey, raw… 

I feel like a dork writing this, but I feel like I should say, “my why”. Organizationally speaking, I almost can't help but have a post dedicated to why I'm writing all of this in the first place.

On the surface, I'd say this is a creative outlet, a space for me to express myself and talk about my feelings and story in a medium that I really enjoy, writing (or voice to text if you’re my computer). If I got a little bit more raw and real and honest about it, there's a lot of me that's really doing this to create content, gain popularity, build a platform.. really build my kingdom.

As I start this chapter (pun intended) it's challenged me to wrestle with the fact that I want my own glory. I want my own kingdom. I want my name known. I want people to like me. But in my soul, sanctified by the Holy Spirit, I know and hope that this will not ultimately be about me. 

I have to step out of the spotlight and allow Jesus to shine. In the words of John the Baptist, “he must increase, I must decrease”. Just writing that here helps me to gain perspective on what I hope this blog, journal really, will be about. I want to point people to Jesus, in general but, maybe even more importantly, to Jesus in my everyday life. 

What’s more, I need the daily reminder that everything I have, all that I am is because of what He's done, because of the way that He sees me and what He offers us in His gospel through His life–the abundant life He wants to give us in this life and the next. I want to share our personal Promised Land and Abundant Life living so other people can see what's possible with Jesus. A life free from trivial anxiety. A life unburdened by the darkness and pain and devastation of the news and chaos around us. A life full of blessing and joy and love and purpose and beauty that makes everything else pale in comparison. There is so much goodness and joy to be found in Jesus–and I want to share it all here! The good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the sweet and the real, the honey and the raw.

Sometimes that reality of the Promised Land can be hard to find in our day and age. Living in a first world country with an abundance of blessing and groceries and stuff can make it hard to see our needs or our lacking. It can be even more challenging navigating the everyday monotony of life. Finding balance between routine and spontaneity and seeing not only my need for more life (Abundant Life), but that the Abundant Life actually exists and can be found in those everyday, routine things.  

I want to be really honest in this space, writing as though it were just for me but with hopes that other people will see it, gain insight of their own and find their Promised Land, their Abundant Life in the everyday, their land flowing with milk and honey that God has especially for them.

With all that in mind, I guess it's really more like why not?!

Last time I talked about why I was writing this; now, I'm going to actually introduce myself and provide some context and credibility for my writing because, again, this whole thing would feel organizationally flawed if I did not.

I'm in my late twenties, married for six years, have a precious baby boy just under a year. We have three dogs, a beautiful home, and jobs we love. I enjoy working out, walking, getting outside (not outdoorsy) and all the little things in life; I do a lot of baking, some cooking. As far as content creators go, I think we check a lot of boxes for being an interesting set of “influencers” although I never hope to actually be one.

Seeing all of that on paper can make it look really easy, like we’ve got it all together, a nice, comfy life with nothing but rainbows and sunshine. But, sometimes the monotony and routine nature of each day, even in the abundance, can make us forget how truly precious and wonderful God is, despite Him showing Himself kind and wonderful and good through all that He has given. The gravity and weight of everything we ordinary people have to do in a day gets lost in the sea of Instagram posts and other happier, prettier content. It’s also incredibly easy to become stagnant and numb to how wonderful those blessings are, and, more importantly, where they came from. Promised Land living is more than a classic Instagram vs reality conundrum. This is still a season of work and growth; the Spirit is still sanctifying us (making us more like Jesus) and calling us to know Him more. 

So, yes, we have been blessed! And, there’s two main takeaways from that blessing I hope to impart: one, that the Promised Land/Abundant Life is real and can be experienced in this life on earth; and, two, that even in blessing there are opportunities for growth, challenge and sanctification as we go through the more mundane everyday things. 

My hope is to really emphasize and share how all of the things we have to do in a day can be  reprioritized with the gospel in mind. Jesus offers us Abundant Life in Him, and He does so by challenging and commanding us to cease striving, to stop trying to do everything on our own, carry all of the burdens on our own, make it all work, fit it all in, do all the things, check all the boxes. He says come to me you who are weary, heavy-hearted and/or burdened and I will give you rest. He will give you a lighter burden. He will share the burden with you; it is light and it is humble in heart. He is light and humble and heart. 

In the seasons of blessing, when you really feel the abundance of life in the land of milk and honey, we remember to look to God the Giver of all good things. We thank Him for the gifts and ask for clear ways to steward those gifts and share with those around us. We don’t sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop because our God is a good Father who cares so much more for us than we often give him credit for. Even in the monotony and routine of everyday life, we can find the precious moments of beauty and joy; the Spirit leading and guiding us as we steward what we have been given and become more like Jesus. 

My heart is to share our Promised Land with you, walking through the Abundant Life of Jesus each and everyday. In the land flowing with milk and honey, I can’t wait to share our experiences as we grow and steward the beauty and wonder of those precious everyday moments we’ve been given. Life can be so sweet, but also real and raw. I am excited to journal it all here.

This morning I was thinking about the kingdom of God, and this beautiful idea/imagery/narrative popped into my brain. It was along the lines of those different stories and fairy tales that we know about royalty, princesses, princes, kings… all that jazz. I started to see some connections between a royal family/kingdom dynamic and Jesus’s call to seek first the kingdom of God. 

I’ve personally wrestled with this directive from a spiritual and practical perspective. What does the kingdom of God even mean? How do I seek something I don’t fully understand? How could I even seek a kingdom when my daily life is fairly ordinary, routine and often involves not leaving my house (babies, remote work, etc.)?

But God, in His greatness and wisdom, opened my eyes and revealed this to my heart in the coolest way. It felt like a lightbulb turning on in my mind, helping me more clearly answer those questions and see how it could look in my life.

Here we go…

So, God is the Creator of the world, the current King of the universe. Jesus is the Son of God, the Prince of Peace. He will one day be declared the King of kings and will reign over all of the earth (including the new heaven/earth) one day (see Philippians, Revelation, etc.). What I gather from that is Jesus is essentially next in line to the throne of God. The fact that He left all of His glory, luxury, power, brilliance and majesty in heaven to become a helpless baby, live a human life on our mortal planet to ultimately die a horrible death because of love for us makes this that much more wild, bordering on insane. Just… man… 

Okay… then… 

When we believe Jesus is the Son of God, that He died for our sins, and is our only savior; when we commit our lives to Him (to seek the kingdom, we’ll come back to this); we are then considered fellow heirs with Christ, sons and daughters of the King. In essence, we have this brotherhood with Christ (this, also, WILDLY insane and so much more can be said), which means we would share in those kingdom responsibilities as royal heirs to the throne of God. 

From there, I started connecting that with all those different stories and movies of royal families. It made me think about how that could affect our relationship with Jesus, shifting my perspective from Jesus as only my King and my Savior, even my friend, which all of those things are true; but, He’s also my brother! WHAT!? He is a Prince, the next in line to ascend the throne to become king, but he’s also my spiritual sibling (I'm adopted, of course). I wish I had a specific movie reference to this type of dynamic, but something about basically my older brother being the next in line to the throne, to rule the kingdom feels so beautifully personal and precious and moving. I am called to serve with and for my brother in the advancement of our shared kingdom. Though I am not the next in line, I still play an important role in carrying out its expansion, rule and reign. I serve the higher purpose of God’s kingdom on earth. So, myself and all the other believers who are followers of Jesus are all princes and princesses, heirs of the kingdom. We all serve the kingdom, but Jesus is the next in line to actually be on the throne.

I’m essentially taking this idea of being a princess in God‘s kingdom and lining that up with the different stories of actual or fictional  royal families where they feel a sense of responsibility and duty to their kingdom and people. They have a sense of leadership as a role model; as though their lives are elevated to a higher standard and watched with incredible scrutiny. We are literally called to be perfect as God is perfect because other people, nonbelievers, will be watching how we live our lives to see if we are truly followers of Christ, to see how we are fundamentally different as believers in Jesus. 

It was like a lightbulb went off in my mind. Literally, my circles of influence and my everyday life are my tiny portion of the kingdom of God. I am responsible for all the activities that go on in my home. I am responsible for the well-being of the people in my life–physical, spiritual, emotional–and I should be looking for ways I can help meet a need or provide for a friend or a neighbor. I am also a mom, so taking care of my child, a future heir to the throne, is another responsibility and role that I have in my life, preparing him to take on his little corner of the kingdom and fulfill his royal responsibilities. I am a wife, which is another beautiful gift because I get to serve alongside my husband; we share the burden and responsibilities and encourage each other in our daily walks with Jesus as we steward the gifts we have received to care for our portion of the kingdom. I am a daughter of the King, living in service to the kingdom and the King for His glory, for the advancement of His kingdom and the greater good of our people (believers and nonbelievers alike). 

This concept started shifting the way I viewed my everyday experiences whether that be cooking or cleaning, doing the dishes, making plans with friends, spending time with family. It elevated all of those things. They weren’t just activities or chores that I had to do, but they put them in this transcended, royal realm and mindset that I was like, “oh, this is this is important because these things have been entrusted to me. I am a steward of these resources and these people. I am responsible for the people in my tiny corner of the kingdom as a daughter of the King.” It started shifting my perspective on everything that I do in a day, week, month, year. All the sudden, the ordinary felt so much greater and more important. When I take care of my home, I am being a better steward of my time and resources, preparing myself to invite friends or family over to care and love and do life with them. As I steward these precious resources and lives in my sliver of the kingdom, I am doing the work of God and living out my sacred role and responsibility as a daughter of the most High, Almighty God, King of the Universe.

This also provided a deeper level of intimacy with my conversations with Jesus. I started seeing them less as like talking to something invisible; it felt like I was talking to my brother who just happens to be the future king. It felt more like He was taking the time away from His day and responsibilities, which are so much greater than my own, and delighted to talk to me, especially about those everyday things. He genuinely cares about my section of the kingdom. I’m not alone in my stewardship. He wants and is partnering with me because even though yes, it is my section, it ultimately belongs to the King. As the next in line, He cares about the entirety of the kingdom, including my portion and wants to provide me with the energy and resources and gifts and whatever is needed to best serve and love and care for the people in my circle in the way that only I can do because of my unique positioning. 

This changed how I saw my prayers with God. I started thinking about it less like I just need to pray and ask God for this or confess that; those things are still important, but it’s more like having a conversation and giving a report of what’s happening in my neck of the woods, so to speak. That openness created a lot of not only freedom but, again, that elevated mindset that I’m like, “hey Lord, this is what I’m going through…what would you do… what can I do better… how can I serve the Kingdom best… help guide me in this process…”  It has shifted my perspective in the best ways to really enjoy and appreciate the little things every day and see them more as responsibilities that have an impact on my portion of the kingdom and the entirety of the kingdom of God for this life and the next.

TL;DR:

Jesus is the Prince, next in line for the throne. It’s not a competition. We serve Him as unto Adonai for the kingdom. He is my brother and Lord. I take delight in serving Him, doing the tasks and stewarding the resources He’s given me in the kingdom. To bring about glory and devotion and more princes/princesses, fully adopted, heirs of the throne. He meets with me. Despite his greatness and majesty and endless responsibilities, he takes time to sit and meet with me. He fights the spiritual war waged on our behalf and mediates for all people, bearing the burden of glorious purpose. We stand at his side, caring for our corners of the kingdom to aid in the overall goal: the day the kingdom conquers the earth and wins the war. 

And that… is wild… 

Click the link to watch this journal entry (that's right! made it a video)!

When we decided to have kids, I knew it was going to be challenging. I remember telling my husband how I knew it would be more challenging for me with working and being, well, the mom. But, I thought, “It’ll be okay! “I like a challenge!”

And, as expected, it has been so hard. 

Truthfully, I really do love the working mom life. But, as it has been said almost endlessly online and everywhere else, both are WORK! Being a parent is work; the mental gymnastics of naps and meals and activities, fitting it all into your regular life, while doing the things you enjoy/give you energy, scheduling times for others to see the baby because babies, and remember to drink water, eat food and walk the dogs is EXHAUSTING! It’s so much work in and of itself. Thankfully, Grayson has been relatively chill and we’ve learned how to make all the things happen with him; it’s actually been really fun!

But… that’s just mom life. 

Work requires a whole other set of problem solving and brain power. My work is remote, which is a major blessing; I’m not sure I’d still be working if I couldn’t be primarily at home. I want to be able to stay home with Grayson as much as possible (this world is getting crazy y’all). But… Working with a wiggly baby is no small feat. He needs/wants a lot of attention and is trying to move and explore all the time, understandable. Finding a balance between getting work done and managing baby/mom life is not for the faint of heart or mind. What’s more, my husband goes into the office a few days a week; my mom will come over and help me out when I have meetings on those days, but it’s still hard. 

I’m finding myself in this place where I’m wanting to have my cake and eat it too. I want to work my job and be with my baby 100% of the time, which is impossible…it’s fine. 

There have been quite a few spiritual applications for me with this: balance, learning life isn’t work, calling vs capable, God giving strength. (adjust these more fully). 

Let’s start with the foundation. God will provide all the guidance, strength, patience and direction in this area of my life. If I need to take a step back from work and go part time, I truly know and believe He will provide a peace and thought in my heart and mind to know that is the next step in this journey (one day I’ll tell this story of learning to walk side by side with God in these things). One day it will be time to take that step and when He says go, I’m ready!

From there, we get into the mental battle between capable and called. Our pastor talked about how in our western society, we often push ourselves beyond our limit. In these instances, we need to ask ourselves and the Lord, about what we’re called to do, opposed to what we’re capable of. For example, maybe I could work a full time job, part time job, be a mom, add other crazy time consuming things, but that might not be what I’m called to do. I might be physically capable of doing everything under the sun, but at the end of the day, if I’m exhausting myself aimlessly, outside of my callings in this life, I’ll wind up worn out, burnt out, and sad. God has provided a beautiful design and calling for us in this life on earth to live in His blessing and abundance, life to the fullest. I can’t enjoy and complete all that He has for me during my brief time here if I’m chasing the wind and my own ambitions, thinking I’m doing the most but really I’m just running around. 

This challenges me to put my work into perspective–how does it compare to my role as a mom? My job work has less value than my work as Grayson’s mom and Abel’s life. It is still important, but not of the utmost importance. I’m thankful to be in a position where I could easily decrease my work time if needed; my heart hurts knowing there are so many mamas and parents out there that don’t have that freedom. This doesn’t mean I have to stop working immediately or that my job doesn’t have any value; I just want to make sure when I’m choosing between the two on a busy day, I’m selecting my child’s wellbeing and the beauty of our lives, first.

This is where balance between work and life really starts to come into play. I can’t have my cake and eat it too. I can’t work 100% and mom 100%. It’s impossible to multitask that way. I have to choose how and where and when I am exerting brain power in the little time I have each day (with the allotted energy I have each day, too). I want to steward both things properly, as unto the Lord. My hope and prayer is to work with excellence and intention, not neglecting the work I’ve been given in my job, while pivoting to meet Grayson’s needs and spend meaningful time with him. This is a daily practice, walking through each moment, each hour prayerfully, inviting Jesus and the Spirit into my day to guide me as I make decisions on that energy expenditure. 

Some days are much harder than others, but all worth it. This is such a classic example of honey, raw life. On harder days, I am run down, spent, exhausted, completely, emotionally/mentally/physically raw. But, oh how sweet those moments and days can be. Even on the more challenging days, when I maybe didn’t make the best decisions, the day got away from me or was complete chaos, God shows up in the sweetest ways and restores my soul. A precious smile or giggle from Grayson, beautiful weather on a walk, a fun time with family and friends or some good rest. Promised Land living, the abundant life in Christ doesn’t come without work and effort. We are given gifts, resources and responsibilities to steward and care for. But, I am so thankful for the way God makes himself known in those moments. I can’t do it all, but I don’t have to. I’m called to enter each day with an open mind, heart and hands, letting Him guide my steps on the best path for my day. I can let go and cease striving to control everything and simply be still and know He is. Then, my life can be sweet, balanced and beautiful; you know, like honey, raw.

I saw a story on Instagram today about the value in praying for the same things over and over because we don’t want the devil to enjoy our silence. And, man, did it challenge and set my heart and soul on fire (the good kind lol). 

Too often I neglect certain situations in prayer because nothing has happened, yet. My head knows God is doing 10,000 things behind the scenes; my heart has given up. “It’s in God’s hands now,” I think to myself. I let myself off the hook saying He knows what’s going on in a specific circumstance, especially those that do not directly concern me. But, this story made me remember:

Prayer is not about changing the circumstance. It’s about changing me. 

I want the devil to know I’m a force to be reckoned with in the spirit realm. I am willing to go to battle for someone every single day. I am called and capable of being a warrior in the kingdom of God with His power working in and through me. 

A slow Friday morning turned into a powerhouse of conviction in my heart. A fire set in my soul to bend the knee and hold the line for all the people in my corner of the kingdom going through it right now. It also compelled me to write this and jump back into consistency with these journals, which play a beautiful role in setting my perspective on things above and keeping my mind’s eye fixed on King Jesus especially in the ordinary of today. 

Two passages came to my mind with this highlight from heaven: Daniel 10:12 and Ephesisans 3:14-21. 

The first passage in Daniel hits my heart on two levels. On a sentimental note, this is the primary verse I pray over my son. Daniel 10:12 says this, “Then he said to me, “Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before your God, your words have been heard, and I have come because of your words (ESV).” I pray this verse over my son, that he will set his heart to understand the word and laws of God, that he will humble himself and seek after God, and that because of this his words will be heard in heaven to accomplish incredible things for God’s kingdom. My heart is stirred praying this over my baby boy. But… on a more real and raw note, I should be praying this over myself, too. What a gift to be able to raise a child according to the word and work of the Lord, to guide him in the gospel of Jesus and be an example to him as a follower of Christ. But, I cannot simply stand around and wait for HIM to be a spiritual force and warrior to be reckoned; I am called and capable of being a Daniel, too. I can set my heart to understand, seek the kingdom, humble myself before God so intentionally that my prayers echo in heaven. How much more of an example would that set for him to walk with Jesus if we are tapping into the fight with Christ. 

The second passage hits my heart in a more passionate way. Paul starts this section of the letter to Ephesus by saying, “For this reason, I kneel… (NIV).” Every time I read this (literally every time) I get chills. Something about it sounding so regal and powerful, yet humble and mindful. He says because of all this (gestures to life, people, examples, etc.) I kneel before the Father… This is a pretty joyful letter overall, praising and encouraging the church on their faithful work for the kingdom. That is what compels Paul to kneel, to pray, to intercede, to commune with the Father in the Holy of Holies before the throne. Absolutely breathtaking. Wild. Beautiful. Real. Raw. Sweet. Powerful. His prayer gets even more wild, giving thanks for the church’s belief in Jesus, asking for strength in our souls to be able to comprehend and contain the love and presence of Jesus in our hearts and souls!! Man… 

Putting all of this together in writing creates such a beautiful picture in my mind for my prayer life moving forward. I’m always thankful for the clear application moments. Each day I aim to make my time with God the highest priority; unfortunately I am not always successful, my flesh and physical needs getting in the way (usually sleep or scrolling social to be honest). I am adding this into my alone time with the Lord to humble myself, kneel, intercede for those around me, to set my heart to understand and become a prayer warrior each and every day. I don’t want to neglect those things that have been going on forever and still require prayer and attention, even if they aren’t directly affecting me or my everyday life. They still matter. And, after all, I’m not praying about them to make magical change, I’m doing it to change me, my heart, my perspective. To ask for guidance and clarity on my role in the situation and for Him to be glorified through the work He deems fit for that circumstance, knowing full well He alone can do way more than I can even ask for or imagine (a verse literally from that Ephesians 3 passage). 

The tl;dr message to my heart is this: literally pray over everything without ceasing. Nothing is too small for our Lord’s mighty hand. Nothing too out of reach or pocket for Him to intervene. My prayers are asking for the “strength to comprehend” His love and involvement, longing to walk with Him and see all that He is and is planning to do. And it is for this reason, I kneel…